Southern Baptist Advises Women: Stay In That Abusive Marriage

Every week, it seems, there is something bizarre to talk about in religion. This past week it was about a church official who told women facing violence they should not be harmed but should stay in their marriage. Then he doubled down on it later saying they might have to leave their husband but they should not divorce.

Fortunately for Christians, a prominent Christian woman let fly the view that some women need to divorce and divorce now. There physical safety is more important than their marriage. I’ve enjoyed recalling Ann Landers advice to a woman in troubled relationships, “No man is worth losing your health over.”

In the 11 years up to 2012, about 12,000 women were killed by male spouses, ex spouses and boy friends. I don’t know if there are statistics on the number beaten and badly injured. I know full well there are violent women who harm men. The Baptist advice was directed at women.

Several years ago I volunteered at Fargo’s women’s shelter, the YWCA. I had an old van and moved women’s and children’s belongings from the shelter to their first apartments. I did not ask about their experiences but both women and children seemed wary of what the new circumstances were going to be like.

I’ve never been divorced but I know it is a common practice for people with a pastor to seek advice about marriage. It is alarming to think there are pastors giving advice based on their theology instead of the safety of the women.


27 Responses

  1. PG

    Jon, When do you believe life starts? Conception? Implantation? Organogensis? Feels pain? Heartbeat? When viable outside of womb? Term pregnancy?

  2. First, a person in a physically abusive marriage should separate themselves form their spouse. The abusive spouse should be reported to the police. There are shelters. Women and their children should not be subjected to physical abuse. Mental, psychological or other forms of non-physical abuse can be equally abusive but I believe this sort of abuse can be difficult to prove and easily faked.

    Separation is not divorce. Divorce is not annulment. There are plenty of options left to pursue before one seeks either a divorce or an annulment. This is a complicated situation and not prone to be explained or solved in a blog post. Given the effects of both spousal abuse and divorce on children and spouses, divorce should not be taken lightly. I believe people give up on each other all too quickly.

        1. Jinx II

          Bullcrap, as taught in the fakechristianmattsalier school of misdirection, illogic and illusion.

          Applicants require only a solid bone head need apply.

  3. Every day? Spurts of every day followed by months or years of indifference. Besides, it is good to be obsessive about certain things in life, this blog not one if them.

  4. Jinx II

    fakechristianjerk AKA matt the worm noah, mike/miguel and possibly pg are all the same person. There is an uncanny similarity with their posts…and its more than just the rant.

    Pick 1 handle and quit trying to deceive everyone.

    Obsessed? Me? fakechristianjuice knows nothing about me, HAHAHA and that really gets under HIS skin.

    Here is obsessed
    A quote from this article
    “In the end, Mr. Noah overreacts to any perceived wrongdoing and then cannot let anything go. This ongoing pattern of conduct is detrimental to the game and our organization,” according to a US Club Soccer memo about the suspension, dated Wednesday, Aug. 24

    Back to a soccer forum, these people think Matt Noah is nuts!-Fargo-Soccer-Club-not-welcome-at-NDSU-soccer-tournament&s=97ce1e7b73ef5fdd235e38276328ca37

    Not a very nice person in my book, definitely non christian behavior.

    1. I split in to 4 people only during my 7 PM show. At 10 PM I take 7 people and shove them into 1 person.

      At least I don’t hide behind a fake name and make crazy claims. Sound familiar?

      1. Jinx II

        I don’t want you anywhere near me, my house or my mother with your history of verbal abuse, picketing and screaming in women’s faces.

        Besides, using your real name on internet opens you up to hacking, identity theft and other nasty crap. The Great Entech vividly pointed this out when he discussed how his identity was stolen online.

        Crazy claims? Bwa hahaha! You state your opinions and try to pass them off as facts, you drum up evidence from unreliable sources….Breitbart News, really now…….

        Sounds like you have the old fashion disease called a “split personality”….just in the last few hours both matt the worm noah and fakechristianjerk have posted to me, don’t want to show miguel/mike or pg? So who’s the crazy one here… give christians a bad name.

        Coming from a huge extended Irish catholic family, I have definitely seen your kind before and they are just as nonchristian as you are.

        You take those 7 personalities and stick them where the sun don’t shine…your hard heart or or up your spastic colon

        Henry was 100% accurate when he told you you were like a Bull in a China shop. What they do to nasty old bulls on the farm is insert a bull ring to make them more manageable or ship them off to the butcher.

  5. Catcher

    Jon; If and when you continue to pursue your musings after the 15th on Area Voices, will you inform us where you can be observed?

    1. Catcher 4:38 Yes, thanks Catcher. I think nothing will change for most people. If you type in RedRiverFreethinkers in a search engine, like Google or Yahoo or whatever you use as a homepage, you should find it. Or, if you have it on “favorites” or “bookmarks” nothing should change. The only change I know of is no Area Voices blogs will be advertised in the same way they have been on Forum owned newspapers. But, there is supposed to be some other way some blogs, including mine, are displayed and reached by a click.

      If you are not on Face Book, it is easy to start an account there. Then, click on “groups” and ask permission to enter the group Red River Freethinkers. The blog and a different discussion page is there.

      That’s what I’ve been told. What actually will happen we will see.

      1. On the post May 15 shutdown of most of Area Voices, I notice some of you who comment are having trouble with the software. I’m wondering if it is not being maintained as well because staff at the Forum have already moved on to a new project. Hopefully, both my posts and yours will continue. I’ve appreciated the participation of everyone.

        1. Catcher

          @ 5;31; after your performance last week, you will notice I said ; “observe” not participate.

          1. To any and all who have found there way here under the now limited Area Voices, welcome. I could not reach my own site this morning and wondered when, if ever, I could write something here. The tech person at the Forum said my log-in got caught in the archiving. He gave me another avenue and here I am at the old home. I will continue blogging, at least some of the time, and the Forum will manually put up a link for each one, time permitting.

            The Forum staff said they are still figuring out how to host a few blogs like this one permanently but have not decided how yet. They are meeting later this week to figure it out.

            Again, welcome. It would be fun to have any comments and to learn how you got here.

  6. Henry

    Just in today. Now the aviation experts are dumping on the pilot of MH370.
    Some of the atheists on this blog circled the wagons and blamed it on equipment.
    That is too bad. We knew it was reported he had some emotional issues going on when his gay friend got jailed and his wife left him. Only trouble lacking would be if someone drove over his dog.

    1. Jinx II

      Seems to me there was a French? pilot who flew the plane filled with 2 or 300 people in a mountain…..he was straight but clinically depressed. Just like him, we can only guess as to the real cause. Talk is cheap.

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