What if Your Spouse Says, “I Can’t Believe Anymore”?

There was a nice article on ChristianPost.com recently by two women who’s husbands don’t believe. The women are Christians.

I’ve been surprised at how often we see this in Freethinkers.  Usually it’s the husbands who do not believe, but not always.

I don’t know if marriage between an unbeliever and believer is any more difficult than that between, say, a Catholic and Protestant.  I’ve not experience either directly.  Either one surely must require adjustments by both partners.

One thing the two women said in a presentation is not to make converting your spouse a “project”.  That makes sense.

I have an atheist friend who has been married to an evangelical wife for many years.  Once I asked him how they handle the topic of religion.  He said, “We just don’t talk about it.”

A surprise to me is how often couples who were practicing Christians decide at about the same time to become unbelievers.  I suppose couples who share the same experiences come to reason out things in somewhat the same way.  I’m sure there are couples who take up religion at the same time as well, I just don’t happen to know any.

One would have to guess a big issue between couples anytime their religious views are miles apart is expressed as, “But, I won’t get to spend eternity in heaven with you.”

Maybe that helps couples realize they need to enjoy each other’s company all the more today.  I hope they do.

Avatar of Jon Lindgren

About Jon Lindgren

I am a former President of the Red River Freethinkers in Fargo, ND, a retired NDSU economics professor and was Mayor of Fargo for 16 years. There is more about me at Wikipedia.com.
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10 Responses to What if Your Spouse Says, “I Can’t Believe Anymore”?

  1. entech says:

    “But, I won’t get to spend eternity in heaven with you.”
    According to many of your readers, if the couple are of the same gender then, regardless of the depth of their belief, they won’t be getting to spend eternity in heaven either.

  2. Avatar of Mac Mac says:

    For years this has been an excuse used by fundamentalists to justify their divorces. It seems being married to an unbeliever trumps divorce on the sin-meter.

    • Henry says:

      1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

      • Avatar of Jon Lindgren Jon Lindgren says:

        Henry 2:12 “1 Corinthians 7:15

        Thanks for the scripture. I’m curious to know what your view is on this? Should the believer simply leave the unbeliever if things look like they are permanently going to be different? I recall Pat Robertson responding, in response to a question, that a young woman should not proceed into marriage with her boyfriend who did not believe.

        • Henry says:

          “Should the believer simply leave the unbeliever if things look like they are permanently going to be different?”

          No. From scripture, the believer is to stay with the unbeliever unless the unbeliever wants to leave.

          However, unbelievers and believers should not seek to marry one another.

          • Avatar of Jon Lindgren Jon Lindgren says:

            Henry 3:38 Thanks. I did not know about the scripture. I wonder if it possible to determine whenther the believer drives out the unbeliever, though does not leave him/herself? Would that violate the scripture?

          • Henry says:

            “I wonder if it possible to determine whenther the believer drives out the unbeliever, though does not leave him/herself?”

            Depends on the situation. I personally know of one situation where the believer started going back to church, and the unbelieving spouse was troubled by this occurrence despite both of them being married in a church and both making earlier expressions of faith. The church phone was called while the believing spouse attended with the children, with the unbelieving spouse claiming a medical emergency. The believing spouse with children in tow responded to this public plea, arrived at home to find the unbelieving spouse perfectly fine. Other methods of obstruction were tried on other occasions. The division in beliefs lead to additional disputes, then separation, then divorce.
            In this example, it could be alleged the believing spouse drove the unbelieving spouse out. However, this oversimplification would not fully and adequately describe the situation.

          • Henry says:

            “Would that violate the scripture?”

            Depends on how it was handled and the intent of the believer. If they treated their unbelieving spouse with graciousness and forgiveness, no violation. If they flaunted their belief as a means to agitate their unbelieving spouse, yes, a violation of scripture. If the unbelieving spouse becomes agitated due to their own oversensitivities while the believer has been respectful, that is the unbeliever’s own issue.

          • Henry says:

            Let’s also say the forces of Satan have a very strong aversion to Christ. However, unsurprisingly, church settings also attract the forces of Satan.

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