For a few years, IÂ did a volunteer job of reading applications from gay High School seniors forÂ college scholarship money.Â One of the qualifications for this money was that the kids were “out”.Â The “out” requirement had been placed on the scholarships by the donor, Â a deceasedÂ gay man.
In one part ofÂ the application, the kids would tell their story.Â There were lots of happy stories of kids who cameÂ from supportive homes, had good grades,Â excelledÂ in everythingÂ and had lofty goals for themselves.Â But then, there were the others.
These were it kidsÂ rejected by their parents andÂ living with someone else. Others considered themselves “out” because they had told someone, but were frightened ofÂ telling their parents.
It seemed like there was a clear pattern.Â Kids with supportive parents were involved in more extracirricular activities and had higher grades.Â One would suspect theÂ kid rejected by his/her parents, or afraid the parentsÂ might find out, spentÂ all availableÂ time trying to navigate a difficult life rather than studying and doing High School activities.Â
I’ve know of parents who have rejected their gay child and had the support of their pastor, relatives and friends.Â The most common explanationÂ of these parents is, “It’s against my religion.”Â
Â I think a more accurate answer would be, “I’m really kind of full of myself.”