Gay Kids and Sad Stories

For a few years, I did a volunteer job of reading applications from gay High School seniors for college scholarship money. One of the qualifications for this money was that the kids were “out”.  The “out” requirement had been placed on the scholarships by the donor,  a deceased gay man.

In one part of  the application, the kids would tell their story.  There were lots of happy stories of kids who came from supportive homes, had good grades, excelled in everything and had lofty goals for themselves.  But then, there were the others.

These were it kids rejected by their parents and living with someone else. Others considered themselves “out” because they had told someone, but were frightened of  telling their parents.

It seemed like there was a clear pattern.  Kids with supportive parents were involved in more extracirricular activities and had higher grades.  One would suspect the  kid rejected by his/her parents, or afraid the parents might find out, spent all available time trying to navigate a difficult life rather than studying and doing High School activities. 

I’ve know of parents who have rejected their gay child and had the support of their pastor, relatives and friends. The most common explanation of these parents is, “It’s against my religion.” 

 I think a more accurate answer would be, “I’m really kind of full of myself.”

3 thoughts on “Gay Kids and Sad Stories

    • Agreed. My father in law’s son is married to the sweetest guy, and they are both out and proud, but said father in law refuses to admit that they are married. When we were introduced he said “This is my son and his partner”. I said “No, that’s his HUSBAND”. I didn’t want them to have to feel like their being married was “wrong” or what not. I’ve NEVER had a problem with any gay person.

  1. Agreed again. I’ve asked a number of my gay friends when they realized they were gay and how they (like that helped), tried to overcome, gave up, suffered, still felt like the only one with this “horrible” secret……

    The lucky ones survived the AIDS epidemic. Some didn’t, and I miss them. They were good people.

    The rest? They’re FRIENDS! Not friends because they’re gay but because they’re who they are. Our sexuality is really such a small part of who we really are……

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